The art of

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The art of Photo by Seth Anderson [link] self-coaching Ed Batista Class 1: April 3, 2015

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Class 1 Photo by Judy van der Velden [link]

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Beginnings Photo by Judy van der Velden [link]

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Photo by Alex Eflon [link] Where are we Learning community High-level concepts Logistics going?

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How will we Very brief lectures Two activities Photo by Chloe Fan [link] get there?

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Photo by U.S. Army [link] Working agreements

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I will… Give you my best Welcome input End on time What else would be helpful for you? Working agreements

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Working agreements I ask you to…

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Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link] Working agreements I ask you to… Start on time

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Working I ask you to… Challenge yourself agreements Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

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Working I ask you to… Respect confidentiality agreements Photo by Vox Efx [link]

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Working I ask you to… Minimize distractions agreements Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

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Working I ask you to… Start on time Challenge yourself Respect confidentiality Minimize distractions Can we all commit to this? agreements

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Who am I? Coaching/self-coaching An exercise Coaching tools Partnerships Logistics Today’s agenda Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

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Who am I? Instructor Leadership Labs & Fellows Touchy Feely Class of 2000 Executive coach & HBR contributor www.edbatista.com

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Why coaching matters to me… Started as a client Changed my view of leadership Impact on hundreds of students & clients

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Why self-coaching does, too 1% 6 to 24 months Help my students & clients help themselves

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What’s coaching? Not advising or mentoring Not diagnostic Coachee owns the agenda Coachee has the answers Photo by Seth Anderson [link]

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Guiding our own growth & development Not a solitary experience, but self-directed Coaching partners are essential You’ll have 2 in this course & self-coaching? Photo by Seth Anderson [link]

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Positive Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link] psychology

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Positive psychology Study of what makes life most worth living Equally focused on strengths & weaknesses Robust research to date

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Risk of social comparison Sense of agency ? We blame ourselves Avoid triumph & despair Get curious instead The downside

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Joyful learning Photo by Harry [link]

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Joyful learning Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves performance up to a point Some stress increases learning Too much stress diminishes learning

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Joyful learning Stress Learning

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Joyful learning Hans Selye, Universite de Montreal Eustress & distress

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Joyful learning Stress Learning Eustress Distress

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Joyful learning Judy Willis Teachers limit stress levels ? Students learn more

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Joyful learning Stress Learning Eustress Distress Critical to avoid the tipping point

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Safety, trust, Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link] intimacy

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CONTEXT Learning, Awareness, & Behavioral Change Experimentation, Risk-Taking, & Vulnerability Safety, Trust, Intimacy Initial Conditions

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Safety, trust, intimacy Built through relationships A critical skill for self-coaching You’ll practice in here with partners

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Coaching team Photo by Yahoo [link]

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Coaching tools Photo by zzpza [link]

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Coaching tools Ask, Listen, Empathize

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Coaching tools Ask Edgar Schein Help doesn’t always help What’s a better way?

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Modes of inquiry Photo by Garry Knight [link]

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Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry Begin with receptivity Avoid presumptive questions Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

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Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry 2. Diagnostic inquiry Focus & redirect Feelings, motives, actions Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

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Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry 2. Diagnostic inquiry 3. Confrontational inquiry Introduce new ideas & hypotheses Substitute the coach’s narrative Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

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Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry 2. Diagnostic inquiry 3. Confrontational inquiry We tend to move too quickly Critical to check our assumptions Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

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Ask better Photo by Alexander Drachman [link] questions

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Ask better Get beyond Yes or No What…? & How…? > Why…? More reflection, less defensiveness questions

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Ask better No leading questions That’s advocacy, not coaching questions

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Ask better One more tip… Ask once & stop questions

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Coaching tools Ask, Listen

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Listening skills Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

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Listening skills Hearing ? listening How they feel > what you hear Make them feel heard

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Listening skills Focused attention > time Cultivate presence Eye contact No multi-tasking Eliminate distractions

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Coaching tools Ask, Listen, Empathize Brene Brown* Shame & empathy Edgar Schein Shame in helping relationships

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Shame & empathy Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link]

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Shame & Shame = We are flawed & unworthy of love Empathy = The antidote to shame empathy

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Shame & Shame = Unravels relationships & connections Empathy = Creates closeness & meaning empathy

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Shame & Seeking help typically triggers shame (or embarrassment or vulnerability) empathy

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Shame & But typical helping responses block empathy 1. “My problem’s worse” 2. “Look on the bright side” 3. “Here’s some advice…” empathy

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Shame & Instead… 1. Respect their view & avoid judgment 2. Look for, sense & validate feelings 3. Express understanding empathy

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Traps for the coach Photo by Casey Fleser [link]

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Traps for the coach Giving advice prematurely Overpowering resistance Taking on the problem Stereotyping Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

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Photo by Juhan Sonin [link] Partners

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Course logistics Photo by Glyn Lowe [link] Everything’s on Canvas Syllabus = Home page & PDF All readings = PDFs or websites Assignments = Left menu & bottom of Syllabus

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Course logistics Contact me (also in Syllabus) Email, phone, text are all fine Generally 8am-6pm

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Grading Photo by O C Always [link]

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Grading Attendance 30% Weekly assignments 40% Final paper 30% Pass/fail allowed 3.45 mean GPA

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Attendance Photo by dcjohn [link]

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Attendance It matters A lot Unexcused absences = grade impact More than 1 may = U

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Written work Photo by Anonymous Collective [link]

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Written work 8 weekly assignments, 1000 word limit Final paper, 5000 word limit Deadline is always Wednesday @ 6pm

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Written work The content is up to you Responses to course materials & experiences No specific questions, prompts or requirements

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Written work 5 grading criteria: Timely Personal Conceptual Well-crafted

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1:1 Meetings Photo by crabchick [link]

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1:1 Meetings Entirely optional, no impact on grade Wednesdays & Fridays Default = Meet in front of Bass & go for a walk

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For next time… Photo by Earls37a [link]

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Change Photo by Earls37a [link]