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@habitsguy The Life-Changing Habit of Asking Better Questions
“Thinking is just the process of asking and answering questions.” - Tony Robbins
This message encapsulates a good deal of the value in asking questions.
But we pay very little attention to questions specifically designed to help someone understand their internal landscape.
Learn more about yourself and others by asking better questions.
1 Judgmental Questions
The purpose behind the question is to accuse.
While the intonation of a phrase will imply a question, tone and attitude might express outrage or scorn.
Judgmental questions are useful to recognize because we do ask them regularly, and often without realizing it.
2 Questions to Learn
The primary drive behind these questions is to gain new information: learn why something has happened or why someone behaved in a specific way.
These questions are directive, with a very clear intent from the questioner, but they need not be accusatory.
Questions to learn are a very useful form of questioning, whether you are the one asking or the subject of the inquisition.
3 Questions to Teach
These questions are usually intentionally asked, resulting from the questioner considering the impact of their question on their audience.
They are by far the most effective method of helping another individual uncover a specific answer or outcome.
By leaving “bread crumbs” a teacher is able to help a student to discover their own answer.
4 Questions to Explore
These are asked with no agenda but with love.
These are rare because they are non-directive and accepting.
Loving questions provide the person being asked the opportunity to discover an internal answer about themselves and the invitation to fully accept themselves in that moment.
All of us have the ability to connect with other people, intimately and lovingly, just by listening and asking questions.
Simply by attending to the questions we ask, we can make a substantial difference in another person’s life.
Robin Zander is an educator and strategist. He writes about the learning process, trains clients around the world, and dances ballet in San Francisco. Click to read the post on DGH!
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